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On a Monday night, I cannot sleep.
As I rise from my bed, I recall the unseasonable warmth outside
    and my lack of a window.
Before responsibility when everything was an ideal and an adventure, I would have taken this evening to walk.
Now, when I walk alone at night, people believe I am homeless.  Perhaps they are right.  I thought that I would like the city with it's ability to live at night, but there's really no life around me.  Everything closes by eight.  Is this the modern America?  Asleep by nine and awake at dawn?  How discouraging.
Internally, I am jaded.  Between all of the musts I haven't found much to want.  And it's getting hard to remember why I must.  My want is to lay down and sleep until the world washes away and is reborn.  Perhaps someone can find me in my time cocoon and have a gleeful time with a stick.  That's what I would do if I found a person in a cocoon.
:icondarkjem:darkjem 0 0
The glues needed to hold this together
You know, I had a theme for a while and then I gave up on that theme.
Now it's been quite a long time.
I watch the city I painted and the life I wanted crumble to ash
When I've only ever painted a field.
And I remember what we used to do here.  And how it's not becoming for an adult.
How I used to write down feelings and people would respond.  I was selfish.  I am selfish.
And in the night, I see it painted with blacks and whites.  Stories of hope and selfish love.  And my word choice is broken.  My imagery is not what it was.  The colors are pastels and the light is dim.  And I feel no frustration at these trite tales.
I stopped writing, I stopped singing, I stopped hoping and I simply progressed.  And it made me unhappy and mean.
I wore my pretty clothes and stopped thinking my pretty thoughts.  I was 'rational'
I don't know how to be now, if rational is the right choice or if the frai
:icondarkjem:darkjem 0 0
Vampire Hunter D :icondarkjem:darkjem 6 19 Picture for my Mommy :icondarkjem:darkjem 3 23 Final Tallon Cadence :icondarkjem:darkjem 1 15
Amber Chemicals
Empty loveless puddles
Unshorn tears of amber and chlorine.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt words play with my cells
Nibbling and loving the poor mostly pointless things.
Unloved and cold
Like a lone rabbit in the snow.
The cottontails are off, playing games, never like in Europe.
There are lonely rabbits in America, freezing their tufted feet in the icy glitter.
I want to feel loved, like yesterday.
Yesterday the moon was beautiful, the house was alight.
There were stories and little bouts of excitement.
Love. Events.
Bats and sweet field mice with their oil-drop eyes
Looking for a place to hide from our curious and grasping hands.
Friends and strangers.
All interested in the same thing
Dirt mixed with blood and lust for night and unknown histories
No chlorine there.
Today I had thoughts of challenging cars in the road.
Someday, I’ll die that way.
It’ll be slow.
They will try to help me.
But I’ll bleed onto the street
And into the ambulance
:icondarkjem:darkjem 0 4
Sometimes flowers speak to me
Sometimes music screams
Sometimes a photograph causes me pain
Sometimes paintings smell good
Sometimes everything is my fault
Sometimes I am
Sometimes you are
Sometimes I can't think of the right words
Sometimes ideas run away
Sometimes it snows
Sometimes it's sunny
Sometimes People die
Sometimes dying people
Sometimes names are for appearances
Sometimes appearances equal names
Sometimes I feel like I'm saying nothing
Sometimes I know I'm saying it all
Sometimes this is boring
Sometimes it is not
Sometimes the Doors want me to dance
Sometimes the Moon reminds me of stories
Sometimes the Rain smells like acid
Sometimes rain sounds like gunshots
Sometimes they all will melt
:icondarkjem:darkjem 2 11
What's Missing?
’m clearly trying to make conversation out of nothing.
And no one notices.
Sometimes   think that it would be nice to take a knife and stab someone to death.
Just to see if anyone around would notice.
People like to talk about themselves but don’t like to hear about others.
It’s very hard to find someone interested in   .
But those are the trials of life.
  am unimportant, it seems.
Perhaps they wouldn’t notice if   left.
If   was left out.
:icondarkjem:darkjem 2 19
Mature content
Adelina Collins :icondarkjem:darkjem 0 11
Quinten Reese Collins :icondarkjem:darkjem 2 17 Catfish :icondarkjem:darkjem 0 22 Maxwell :icondarkjem:darkjem 2 17 HCTS 150 Percent Smaller :icondarkjem:darkjem 2 5
I need to be brilliant.
Don’t you need to be brilliant?
I need to dance by the fire and let it lap lazily at freckled flesh.
Don’t you need that?
I need to be clever.
Don’t you need to be clever?
I need to step into an office and command automatic respect.
Don’t you need that?
I need to be funny.
Don’t you need to be funny?
I need to make people laugh with my interesting and awkward turn of phrase.
Don’t you need that?
I need to be beautiful.
I need to be confident.
I need to except.
I need to change.
I need to laugh loudly.
I need to waltz.
I need to
I need to
I need to
I NEED you to stop telling me how to change.
I NEED you to accept me, even if nothing more than I friend.
I NEED you to stop expecting me to be prince charming.
I NEED you to allow me some childish moments.
I NEED you to love me unconditionally.
I NEED you to rescue yourself.
I NEED you to let me dance without eyes.
I NEED you to accept my words and not dissect them.
I NEED you to treat me
:icondarkjem:darkjem 1 6
Little Window Seat Thing :icondarkjem:darkjem 0 5
Casimir the Board
It was a marvelous book (according to the teacher), with large pictures in a cutesy wootsey kindergarten style. Casimir picked it up.
Casimir the Board
By Emily Smith
There once was a Maple Tree
That wanted to be an Oak Tree
(cutesy drawing)
So it posed as an Oak Tree,
But lost the Most Beautiful Oak Tree in the Woods Contest
And was cut down.
(tragic drawing of tree being cut down)

Casimir just looked around the room once. Wait… what? Okkkayy…
From that self-loathing tree came
Casimir the Board
(cutesy drawing of Casimir the Board with googley eyes)
Casimir the Board was a self-centered board,
He thought that he was the best board in the lumber yard.
(drawing of Casimir the Board in the lumber yard)
One day, a man came to the story.
He bought all the boards to make into the floor of his house.
(picture of the man looking at the boards)
Casimir was thrown into the back of a truck with all the other boards.
Since Casimir was a snotty board the other boards avoided
:icondarkjem:darkjem 0 17

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Darkjem is back for the summer!  I'm bored as -censorship here-, so I've decided to take up drawing again.  Plus, I've gotten into design and the textile arts as well and am planning a Victorian dress that needs to be finished by next May!  So, yup!  I should make some fun, progressive, steampunk things and have some Homestuck fan art and all that fun stuff!

:dance: :shakefish: :stereo:
  • Listening to: The Watchmaker's Apprentice-Clockwork Quartet
  • Reading: John Lennon Biography
  • Watching: nada
  • Playing: With your hearts ;)
  • Eating: nothing.
  • Drinking: Green Tea!


United States
Current Residence: Candyland.
Favourite genre of music: Classic Rock.
Favourite style of art: Music


Add a Comment:
Cherished-Serenity Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav! :glomp:
darkjem Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
you're welcome. :)
kaikaku Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi there, it's been a long time since we spoke but I just wanted to drop by and say 'hello,' and... thanks for the fav! <3
darkjem Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012
A very long time. I 'grew out' of deviantart for a while.
kaikaku Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Have your grown back "into" it?

*waves* ^__^
darkjem Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2012
I might. I haven't drawn anything in a really long time, but I'll try to take a picture of my latch hook pillow when it's done.
(1 Reply)
Urban-Geist Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for faving "Spotted Cow" !!
PierrotJudge Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch!
darkjem Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011
You're welcome. If I'm going to be joining the Homestuck fan art thing, I would suggest you return the favor :P
Loony-Madness Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2010  Professional Traditional Artist
Happy birthday :D
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